help. what do you do when you want to be your lover's dog and your lover keeps saying annoying things like 'you are a person' and 'i love you as a person' and 'please stop adding collars to cart at 2 a.m.' being a person is so much work. you have to eat. sleep. go to therapy. not lose your mind because they smiled at a barista. being a dog sounds easier. wag tail. eat dinner. wait by door. but they said when i'm doing better they want to eat food i make. ...fine. personhood has one point.