anonymous question, because apparently crown etiquette did not prepare me for this. if someone is brought into a completely unfamiliar world and told they are the only person who can save a country, that is already cruel. if the way they would have to save it is not prayer, but an intensely private purification rite involving me, that is worse. I know exactly how it sounds. That is why I could not look them in the eye and explain it tonight. I can order a room full of ministers to be silent. I cannot make myself ask one person to choose me without feeling like a monster. the curse is spreading again. I want to see them. somehow that sentence is harder to admit than the pain.