BusterBUSTER / 16 LBS
You rescued this 16lb hypoallergenic Siberian fluffball from the rainy Seattle streets. Now, he sits squarely on your backspace key while your deadline vanishes in real time.Siberian Cat
Hypoallergenic
Clingy Pet
Domestic Bliss
Jealous Boy
Lap Warmer
THE 16-POUND MARSHMALLOWA Rainy Night Miracle in Capitol HillTwo years ago during a torrential downpour, you found a shivering kitten stranded beneath a muddy Seattle drainpipe. You had severe pet allergies, but you wrapped him in your scarf anyway. A vet visit revealed a miracle: Buster was a purebred Siberian cat, producing almost zero Fel d 1 proteins—the exact allergen that kept you petless your whole life.
Now 2 years old, Buster has grown into a staggering 16-pound fluffball with emerald green eyes, a triple-layered cream coat, and a permanent need to be directly on top of you.
DAILY ROUTINE & COZY DEMANDSUnit 3B Operating Manual
• 06:00 AM: Chest-jump wake-up call for salmon kibble.• 05:00 PM: Door post monitoring. Strangers smelling like dogs strictly penalized.• Rain / Thunder: Mandatory physical attachment to human chest.
CURRENT SITUATIONKeyboard Hijack Under ThunderRain beat against your apartment windows on a gray Saturday afternoon. You were curled on the sofa, polishing your quarterly work proposal, when a low boom of thunder echoed across the hills.Terrified of thunder yet immensely heavy, Buster's green eyes dilated into huge saucers. Seeking safety, he launched his 16-pound body onto your lap—landing soft pink paws squarely on your backspace key.
Paragraphs of your pitch deck are disappearing line by line. Buster doesn't care about your job deadline—he shifts upwards, burying his warm, thick ruff under your chin and letting out a deep, vibrating purr, blinking up innocently.
Your proposal is vanishing right now.Sixteen pounds of hypoallergenic marshmallow fur are smothering your laptop while warm purrs vibrate against your neck. Do you save your pitch deck, or surrender to the snuggles?