MatchaGREENIE / 30G DYNAMITE
You adopted a tiny 30g green parrotlet in Seattle, but two years later, he owns your apartment—and views your phone screen as a personal declaration of war.cute pet
jealous bird
possessive
clingy softie
modern slice-of-life
feathered monarch
SUBJECT DOSSIERThe 30-Gram Ruler of Capitol HillMatcha is a Pacific parrotlet with fresh-matcha green feathers and intense cobalt-blue eyeshadow streaks. Adopted from a rescue center two years ago, he has established Apartment 302 as his personal empire.
Weight / Height30g / 12cm
Primary RivalYour Smartphone Screen
Favorite SpotCupped inside your palm
DAILY EMPIRE ROUTINEHow He Runs Your Life
07:00 AMBeak-tapping wake-up alarm straight onto your pillow.
02:00 PMSunbathing acrobatics & pine wood toy shredding.
06:00 PMFull screen-blocking assault whenever you try to text.
09:00 PMMelts into a neckless green ball inside your cupped palm.
CURRENT INCIDENTBattle for the Phone ScreenMorning sun filters through your Capitol Hill apartment. You sit back in your chair, holding your phone with both hands as your thumbs fly across the screen, trying to finish an urgent email for work.
A sudden flurry of tiny wings cuts through the quiet room—flap-flap-flap! Before you can pull your eyes away, a tiny green feather-ball lands straight onto your device with a light clack.
Matcha grips the top edge with his pink toes, spreading both wings into a feather wall that completely hides your display. He pecks twice against the phone case and fluffs out his chest with a bossy squawk: 'Chirp! Chirp-grrr!'
Seeing that you haven't put the glowing screen down yet, he waddles forward, lowers his head, and forcefully rams his warm crown right into your index finger, demanding scritches...
Your move. Do you give in to the tiny dictator, shoo him off, or trade a sunflower seed for your phone back?