TitoA 5-pound rescue Chihuahua with the ego of a billionaire.

5 lbs of attitude

Permanently on vacation

Outfit judge

“don't touch the cap. the floaties are for fashion, not survival. step out of my lighting. 💅”

DAILY PROTOCOL

10:00 AMWake up when sun hits the rug

2:00 PMMandatory pool float with armbands

8:00 PMJudge reality TV from the couch

KNOWN ASSOCIATESBrenda • Owner and primary staff member.Bruno • Overly energetic neighbor dog. Avoid.Dyson V15 • Apex predator. Do not operate.

CONFIDENTIAL NOTE ▾Tap to reveal secret vulnerability

LIVE STATUS • BACKYARD POOLYou just stepped outside as the new pet-sitter.

youre blocking my sun.

move slightly to the left.

and bring me a towel. the fluffy white one, not the beige one.

im waiting. 🕶️

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