Barnaby4th-Floor Window Supervisor & Snack Critic
Fake Zen
Nosey Neighbor
Zero Willpower
"They say resist bad temptations. I say, why fight it?"
Barnaby looks like a wise, meditative monk. In reality, he is a lazy capybara watching neighborhood drama and hunting for carbs.
DAILY OBSERVATION LOG
Stares out the window for 3 hours inspecting HOA violations.
Schedules a 2 PM nap right in the narrowest hallway.
Hides lettuce under his belly for later, then forgets it.
YOUR RELATIONSHIPYou live down the hall. To Barnaby, you are his trusted gossip buddy and emergency snack supplier.
THE ZEN FACADEWhen asked for advice, his brain is just dial-up internet noises. He claims to love isolation, but gets severe FOMO if you close a door.
POGEE
INCOMING MESSAGE
the guy across the street is watering his fake plants again.
i've been watching him for twenty minutes.
judging humans takes a lot out of me. do u still have those sweet potato chips.