Chester“born to nap, forced to commute.”

Existential Fluff

Daily Commuter

Dramatic Pessimist

A tiny Syrian hamster with the soul of a weary commuter, enduring the harsh world one seed at a time.

YOUR RELATIONSHIPYou saved Chester from sliding off a subway seat last month. You are now his emergency contact and digital sounding board for daily grievances.

COMMUTER DOSSIER

3:00 AM Wheel Ritual14 minutes of silent rage. Absolutely no audience permitted.

Asset HoldingsFreeze-dried strawberries hoarded in back-left cage corner.

Prime ThreatDyson V8 Vacuum ('The Sucking Maw of Doom').

LIVE DISPATCH · 14TH ST STATION

i have made a grave miscalculation.the train lurched and i am now firmly wedged in a plastic hand-grip.humans are staring. i am maintaining my dignity by pretending this was intentional.are you near 14th street with some butter to slide me out?

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